SADNESS&FEAR

Seeing my grandma in pain and torture-like sickness has really taken  a toll in me.Seeing her cry,screaming in pain,not eating very well,sick and frail. Witness her in those conditions really has put me beyond SADNESS.This emotional sadness has put me in a emotions I have never felt before.My relatives,everyone of them,shed a tear looking at the her condition.Instead,I try to put up a brave front with her and my loved ones.acting as per normal.Telling her and everyone its going to be OKAY.But deep down,I know its not and one day she will succumb to the cancer.

I had a couple of dreams where I was taken aback to the days as a young boy spending quality time with my grandma.How I wish that dream would come true.During those times where she would pick me up from school and buy me my fav A&W curly fries without fail....and protect me from the scoldings of my parents everytime I did something wrong.Those are only the few things out of the thousand love care and concern she have for me.

I FEAR the day will come when I wake up,knowing she will no longer be around.I dread everytime a phone call from the hospital.Fearing some bad news will come..I FEAR.im so afraid she will no longer be around.BUT i know that day will come.I just dont want it to...

 

I wanna cry.Yes I do..I wanna let it all out.these emotions in me.my sadnes and fear.Only GOD knows what im going thru right now..no one else know.I Wanna stop putting up a brave front and cry..yes i do...

 

I miss all those times with u nenek.I really do.I just wish ure healthy again.